Let your faith be stronger than your fears.

Even though I’m only 18, I can honestly say that I’ve faced so many setbacks that I really shouldn’t have any fears. I watched my dad walk out on me and my mom at the age of 3, like it was nothing. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was 13, and was informed of how my white blood cells were attacking my organs. I lost all feeling and movement in my left leg and spent months on crutches and then was later diagnosed with a pain syndrome at the age of 15. Obviously those are only a few of the many things that I’ve been through and overcame, but for the fact that I’m here, a freshman in college right now is a shock for me, and a huge shock for my family. After missing all the school that I did over the past two years, my teachers, principal, and family had been set on the fact that I was not going to graduate on time. And, that’s where my fears come in. I’m terrified of disappointing my family. Although my family tried to hide it, I could tell that they were extremely disappointed when they heard that I wasn’t going to graduate with my class due to my excessive absences. That honestly hurt me more than anything, so I set my mind to work and I worked my ass off, of course it all paid off in the end, because I did graduate on time but it’s the fact that I had for that moment disappointed my family that really killed me. I’m pushing myself so hard in college because at the end of the day, I want to be able to show my mom, grandma, and grandpa that I will do anything to make them proud. The feeling I get when I know that they’re upset with me is honestly the worst feeling in the world, I don’t even know how to describe it. My other fear would have to be that I’m not going to ever be able to be happy. As long as I have this pain syndrome, and my day to day life is affected because of my pain, I won’t ever truly be happy. And because I know that this pain syndrome is something you’re stuck with for the rest of your life, scares me more than anything.